Getting Jiggly with my Bad Self

This past year I incorporated working out with my morning routine. Let's be very clear here though. My morning routine would not likely have been considered healthy by most. After several cups of coffee, you know, the strong, put hair on your chest stuff, my exercise consisted of opening the back door to let my dogs out. If I was really feeling energetic, I might even stroll out to the back porch and gently toss the ball around for my dog. So when I got this wild idea that a little exercise might do me some good, it was a real ground shaker in my house. It's not like they doubted that I would do it, but hey, they know me. Sitting quietly is more my speed.

I must admit, it took quite a bit of time to create poetry in motion but I do believe that I have a handle on it now. My Wii Mii and I can change it up with the best of them. Kick boxing? Yeah, we do it. Yoga? Oh my. Look at that perfect posture. Step dancing? Ha! We could be on "So you think you can Dance". We are good I tell ya. Dang good. Once that music starts playing wii are one with it. That balance board has nothing on us. Floating like a butterfly. Yep that's us. I was feeling so confident that I decided to add a little spice to the workout. You know. Keep it fresh. Keep it alive. I was an old hand at this now. There was nothing I couldn't do.

Until I decided to try the Hula Hoops. Who's idea was it to put that in the program. This was supposed to be a fun way to get in shape. What's a little sweat between friends right? This should have been a easy thing for my Wii Mii and I. But NOOOOOO !!!! I am saddened and ashamed to report that we are sorely missing the mark in this little exercise of wit. And it is all my shii mii's fault. She has no rhythm.

Once the music starts you twirl your hips while keeping the Hula Hoop spinning. Oh it sounds easy enough doesn't it. Once you get them babies twirling some other Mii in the corner of the screen ( and I think I know who it is) tosses another hoop to you. Now you must catch it while still twirling the other hoop. Not bad? Try another.......and another. The tossers never miss a beat while I frantically try and remember which way to twirl so I don't lose any points. I AM all about winning you know. This is usually about the time that I am making some incredible growling type sounds so both dogs come in the room to see what is happening and start to bark at me, thinking that I must be growling at the bad guy. Next in comes my husband. He just stands there staring. What can he say after all. I am frantically twirling invisible hoops and cursing under my breath, regarding the DNA that my father must have passed me that is causing me to have to exercise in the first place. I have sweat running down my cheeks and my Wii Mii looks fresh as a daisy. Is there no justice? This just doesn't seem fair.

We all know that I am all about the fair so after I caught my breath from the invigorating workout I grabbed another cup of coffee, sat down at the table, and thought about how I might even things up a bit. Shii doesn't sweat. Shii never even looks ruffled after a 30 minute workout. Shii eats what shii wants when shii wants and only changes weight when I do. Huh. Something is just not right here. I leer at her over the lip of my coffee cup. Thinking, thinking. I've got it!!!! I'll show her a thing or two. I will beat her at her own game.

I must have had a really scary look on my face because my husband walked by and stopped and just kind of looked at me. And then he quietly walked away shaking his head wondering what in the world I could be up to. I rose from the table and walked back to the remote. I knew what I had to do. It just was not working having her look better than me. So I took off her eye makeup. That showed her a thing or two.