Looking at labels on food products has become my reading of choice lately. It seems that there is just no getting around it. Calories, fat grams, sodium. Who would have ever guessed that a simple peanut butter and jelly sandwich would need a calculator and a note pad laying nearby? Journal entries, adding this and replacing with that. The thrill of victory when the numbers balance at the end of the day. The groans of agony when they don't. I don't get this riled up when the checkbook doesn't balance. But let my intake be greater than my recommended allotment and well....it can wear a girl out.
Watching my weight has almost become a new pastime for my husband and I. It is almost like a hobby that we share together. Who knew something so seemingly mundane as a diet, could bring us even closer together? We share intimate conversations daily now. You know.....like " Wow honey, did ya notice the fat grams in that thing?" Or, "how can anything as light and fluffy as popcorn possibly have that many calories!" We spend lazy afternoon together, slowly strolling down the aisles of the grocery store, side by side, gazing lovingly at the ingredient labels. Who would have guessed that the prime of our lives would have come to this.
You see, I am married to the informer. If you need to know anything about anything, he either knows it, or by gosh he can find out. He has the memory of an elephant in full regalia when it comes to my calorie and water intake for the day. He knows exactly how many glasses I should consume and he's not afraid to share that information. It's almost like he has this little calculator inside his head and pushes the memory button whenever I am in the kitchen. "You gettin' some water while you're there girlfriend?" he will joyfully holler from another room. In fact, just to spite him, I will pour myself a full glass of water and drink it down. So there. Take that mister. You're not gonna tell ME what to do. After all, I do know what's best.
Since math has never been my strong suit, I guess it is pretty convenient to have a mobile calculator at my fingertips. He can tally the score in his head for anything on the menu at a fast food restaurant long before I have made up my mind as to what I am even going to have. Now mind you, he never ever makes a recommendation of one "delicious" verses more "nutritious". While I am deciding, he just wants to have the information on hand in the off chance that I might inquire. Like I didn't know that un-sweet tea is better for me than sweet tea. Come on, I am a Texan now. We drink sweet tea by gum. Or that a chocolate milkshake probably will count for ALL of my intake for the day. Well duhhhh!!! BUT......that milkshake would taste so good on a hot Texas day right? I can make up for the extra intake numbers later right? Like tomorrow? Or maybe next week?
It's a shame the ole diet thing doesn't really work that way. Eat it today, wear it tomorrow. Cookies at night, bring bigger shadows by day. I am not quite sure what a good metabolism is, but I didn't inherit one from my family. I don't know if I can buy a good metabolism but I am willing to have a garage sale to finance it. Hey, wait a minute. What really goes well with a garage sale?????? Donuts and coffee in the morning while you set everything up and of course pizza at night since you are too tired to cook. Anybody with me????
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