Minding the P's and Q's

One of the nice things about residing in Texas, is that we actually experience seasonal weather changes. Being a native of California, this is quite a phenomenon. There is just something special about that first morning when I grab my cup of coffee and go outside and notice, with much awe and relief, that I am not dripping wet from the Texas heat. You gotta admit......we know heat. And I am not talking about a spicy Tex-Mex dish. I am talking about being able to fry an egg on the back porch by about 9 am throughout the summer. Good night Agnes it gets hot here.
But then.......around September, after all of those summer storms have made their way through our town, a blessed relief comes. We call it Fall. Cooler temps and bluer skies. Afternoon iced tea is slowly replaced with the occasional cup of coffee. Instead of the grill being fired up every night, we actually turn the oven on again and bake a roast or a meatloaf. After all, if it below 90 degrees Fall must be just a few weeks away.
Personally, I like the cold weather. I just can't get naked enough in the summer without offending the neighbors. I hate sweating. It's just so......oh I don't know......eeky. With the cooler weather I can cover things up that shouldn't really be visible anyway. It just makes good sense. I follow the rule "If you've got too much of it, for heavens sake cover it up".
The only problem I have had of late with the weather cooling off is pantyhose. Why oh why were these abominations created. To taunt me? To suffocate me? To totally humiliate me????
Last winter, I decided to wear a skirt to the office. Sooooooo, I got into the treasure drawer of undergarments and dug out a new pair of pantyhose. Now they seemed a smidge hard to get into but I attributed that to still being "damp" from my shower. This particular day I was up and down up and down multiple times. In the early afternoon I noticed that the back of my legs were tired and achy. I convinced myself it was because I had been up and down so much and I was just getting tired. Then I noticed that my legs were almost feeling numb. I must admit I got concerned. I kind of stretched a bit and sat up a bit straighter to relieve the pressure I was feeling and continued working. Finally I couldn't stand the pain anymore and stood up and started to rub the top of my legs. It was then I discovered this huge lump on my rump. What the heck. I made my way to the ladies room and discovered (with much embarrassed laughter) that my pantyhose had decided that they would roll down and they were cutting off my circulation!!!! I was stunned. Shocked. By gosh I was taking those pantyhose back because obviously they were flawed.
Just exactly what DO those letters stand for on the inside of the pantyhose? I am a "P" I tell you. A "P". Why in the world would a company that I have faithfully bought pantyhose from for all of these years suddenly change the size dimensions without telling me. Is this some kind of a cruel joke? What? What did you say? A"P" is only for women of smaller stature? As in height only? I am a "Q"????? Are you serious? The "Q" pantyhose were made with women like me in mind? The letter "Q" comes after the letter "P" for a reason? I should have been warned. Nothing like this should just be sprung on a person. I needed time to prepare. A "Q" huh.
My Wii Mii and I decided after that incident to try to get back to being a "P". Oh Wii know it will take some time and dedication. Hey, that "Q" didn't happen overnight. But, as a team, Wii will change things. But for now? I am going to be the best "P" I can, inside the body of a "Q".